But that’s how one of the Artmarket’s favourite artists, Peter Smith, describes the inspiration for his and wife Jayne’s latest collection, Screwballed!
Featuring the pair’s hugely popular creations, tubby pranksters the Impossimals, the new paintings are, says Peter, ‘a collection that’s not a collection – a set of pictures that don’t go together, but work together’.
“We wanted to bring a bit of British eccentricity to the Impossimals,” Peter explains. “So we’ve plucked lots of different stories from lots of different places – some are real, others are straight from our imaginations.
“The story behind You’re Screwballed!, for instance [you can read it below], is absolutely true. But the story beind One Size Fits All, about the Victorian inventor of a cushion-stuffing machine, is completely made up!
“We’ve included some interesting details, too – we hope, for instance, that people will have fun finding the names of all the songs in For Those About To Rock.
“I think you could safely described the Screwballed! collection as Salvador Dali meets Wallace and Gromit!”
And because, dear reader, we wouldn’t want to deprive you of the wildest imaginings from the deepest recesses of Peter and Jayne’s totally screwballed minds, here are the stories behind each picture, according to Peter. We’ll leave it with you to decide which are true…
Peter and Jayne Smith may be Screwballed – but they’re Feeling Gintastic about it!
Peter and Jayne Smith may be Screwballed – but they’re Feeling Gintastic about it!
It was a cold January morning. The frost was heavy on the ground and the sharp tang of an icy wind was making me briskly walk across to the studio. Opening the door, a sudden rush of warm air turned my glasses (spectacles that is – the heavy drinking starts later) into a veritable pea-souper, rendering me somewhat lacking in the visual department.
Now, dear reader, I have reached that age where a small trip can turn into a nasty fall, so when I lost my footing I staggered forward, did a small run to regain my balance and was hit full on in the marble sack by the end of a screwdriver wedged in the studio vice.
To say I folded in two is an understatement. I was also holding a cucumber at the time (for another painting, you naughty reader!) and as I rolled on the floor clutching my damaged goods, the cucumber rolled into view complete with imprints from overgripping during impact.
You may think that as a basis for a painting it’s rather thin on the ground. Nobody wants a painting of an artist smashing his crown jewels on a bit of hardware, so instead I plucked an image from my childhood: the screwball ice cream.
So the next time you feel as though you’ve received one in the nut cutlets sit back and admire this piece in your home, and remember, it could be worse: you could have grip marks on your cucumber, too.