Peter Smith has gone screwball with his latest collection titled ‘You’re Screwballed’

It was a cold January morning, the frost was heavy on the ground and the sharp tang of an icy wind was blowing from the north making me briskly walk across to the studio. Opening the door a sudden rush of warm air turned my glasses, spectacles that is, (the heavy drinking starts later) into a veritable pea souper of a view  rendering me somewhat lacking in the visual department. Now dear reader I have reached that age where a small trip turns into a nasty fall so when I lost my footing on the small step in I sightlessly staggered forward, did a small run to regain my balance and hit the end of a screwdriver wedged in the studio vice from the night before full on in the marble sack.

To say I folded in two is an understatement, secondly I was also holding a cucumber at the time (for another painting you naughty reader!) and as I rolled on the floor clutching my damaged goods the cucumber rolled into view complete with imprints from over gripping during impact.

You may understand that as a basis for a painting it’s rather thin on the ground. Nobody would like a painting of an artist smashing his crown jewels on a bit of hardware so instead I plucked an image from my childhood; the screwball ice cream.

So the next time you feel as though you have received one in the nut cutlets simply sit back and admire this piece in your home and remember, it could be worse, you could have grip marks on your cucumber too.

“The problem with gin is failing to leave enough room for the tonic.” – Peter Smith

Really, do I need to say anything else about this? I’m fluent in Gintastics.

One Size Sits All

In 1893 Arthur Bollard of London pioneered a new method of stuffing cushions. It involved a steam operated machine blowing goose feathers at high speed through a brass tube into a cotton pocket. Unfortunately Arthur miscalculated the power of his invention and the small six inch cotton pocket  was stuffed at such speed that it stretched to fifty times its size creating a very large square of comfy fabric. Pondering his problem Arthur tried to squash the square back into shape by sitting on it. The resulting twang of ripping fabric was heard for several miles as the overstuffed cushion exploded and catapulted Arthur over several London landmarks. Bystanders heard Arthur shout ‘One size sits all my arse’ as he flew overhead.

This story prompted me to paint an overstuffed comfy chair, you know the one, it’s soft, plump and easy to relax in. We all have them, we all love them and if we could we would live in their comfortableness each and every day. Well, until X-Factor came on anyway, then I would vacate the room.

In 2013 we had a really heavy snowfall overnight. The studio needed to be dug out before we could start work and shifting 36 inches, yes, it really did snow heavily, was a hard task. Most though had opted to stay indoors rather than venture to work and it’s these unexpected days at home that really do feel more rewarding than anything else. A house without a heart is just that, a little colder, more housey and less homey. Bring a little warmth into your own home, give it a heart and let it melt away all your worries for there really is snow place like home.